Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sunday Morning Coming Down

© S. Bradley Stoner

[This is a reprint of an old blog I did back in 2008 - Hey, the Broncos are playing at 3:00, so I have better things to do than write a new blog. Besides, the San Antonio Rodeo is coming up soon, so it’s sort of timely.]

Well, I know it's been awhile since I've been on blog net, and I am not going to make excuses. Suffice it to say that I have been busy with other matters. I have taken time to stop by several of my friends sites, although I admit not as frequently as I would like.

Today is gorgeous here in Texas... about 75 and clear blue skies. I love Texas in the winter!  Our brief cold spells were indeed brief and, in fact, not that cold.  Got down to 38 one night.... oh, brrrr! (Yep, that was sarcastic). Highs were in the upper 40s and low 50s... oh, double brrr!  Unlike some nameless persons in my family, I sort of like cold weather.  It's the really hot weather I hate. The good news, we really don't have that here either. I think we broke 100 one time last year. The hot weather in San Antonio lasts about a month and a half, if that.  And, I'm (pardon the pun) warming up to that.

I'm also getting to like taking my weekends off and being somewhat lazy - told ya'll that I was going to stop and smell the roses this year. This weekend was a truly lazy one, but last weekend... well, it IS rodeo time in San Antonio. Yep, we boot the basketball Spurs out of the AT&T center for three weeks and replace them with the real spurs. Those are mine below.

Yep... we take our ridin', ropin, risk takin' (the Texas 3-Rs) seriously down here.  Sort of a more buck for your buck theory.  Understand, I have been to rodeos all over the country... attended my first one when I was but a stripling boy of no more than six when I went to the Denver Stock Show and Rodeo... but the San Antonio Rodeo is about the best organized, most efficient operation I have ever seen. Load 'em up... let 'em loose... hit the buzzer... pick em' up... and get 'em out... then repeat. If you're one of those cowboys who likes to be dramatic after a ride... don't. You'll get run over by the next bronc or bull out of the chute.  Save the theatrics for the podunk rodeos. You're a professional, for pete's sake!

The opening ceremonies... well, EVERYTHING in Texas is bigger! But you knew that, right? There are twenty palomino and 12 other quarter horses and riders in the opening flag ceremony.  The palominos are wearing full silver-mounted saddles... and you wondered what Nieman Marcus was for.... Here's a little closer view... 

I think the number of US flags equaled the number of Texas flags... but maybe not. This is Texas, after all.

Cherei's favorite part is the bull riding, of course. (Aw shoot, she probably read that bumper sticker that says, "I'm a Lover, I'm a Fighter, I'm a Wild Bull Rider!").  The one on my truck was simpler... it just said, "Cowboys are better lovers." Don't ask why.

And, if you've read my lady's blogs, you'll know the day wasn't all bull riding and bronc busting. Nope, we wandered about the stock show grounds and covered most of the craft shows... some neat stuff, but a lot of it way overpriced from my perspective.  The arena is NOT Nieman Marcus, after all.  There were some very pretty, high-strung quarter horses... some of them out of the Doc line... if you know anything about horse pedigrees, that's a pretty darn good line.  They even set a record at the quarter horse sale... sold one two year old for $50,000 - that's Fifty big ones, folks... for a quarter horse.  Holy moley!

Well, I guess I've rambled enough for one Sunday.  I leave you with a picture of my favorite cowgirl...  yep, that's a big plastic cow and that sweet thing standing by it is my girl... cow plus girl equals cowgirl!

Ya'll come back now, heah?

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE ANCIENT WISDOM?

The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest we become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.

-- Cicero , Rome 55 BC  

The Square Peg - You ate WHAT?!

The Square Peg - You ate WHAT?!
© S, Bradley Stoner

I was picking up my mail, minding my own business, just happy to be back home for a spell. I wasn't paying any attention. I guess I should have. I didn't hear footsteps... damn sneakers! "Hey! I haven't seen ya for a couple of weeks... where ya been hidin'," Bingo Bob boomed, nearly causing me to jump out of my sneakers.

"Holy crap, Bob! Don't sneak up on me like that! I could've killed you... or worse, you could've given me a freaking heart attack!"

"Sorry," Bob mumbled, but he really wasn't. A grin kept twitching at his mouth and he was barely able to contain it. "So whatcha been up to? Holed up writin' that novel?"

I could have b.s.ed him, but I figured he'd already heard something on the neighborhood grapevine. This isn't an easy place to keep secrets. "Nope... I was out of country."

Bob's eyes went wide. Apparently somebody had nipped the grapevine before it got to Bob. "Seriously? Where'd ya go?"

"Took a cruise to Central America and Mexico."

Now, one thing you need to understand... after talking to Duncan Donutz one too many times, Bob is convinced that anybody who goes to Central America is bringing back drugs or some other form of contraband. He eyed me suspiciously. "What'd you go there for?"

"For pleasure of course."    

"I dunno, I've heard things..."

"I'm sure you have... you've gotta quit believing everything Duncan tells you. Not everybody who visits there is a drug lord or a mule. Some folks just go to see the sights, enjoy the culture, and sample the local cuisine."  
"So where in Central America did you go exactly?" I could feel Bob building up to the third degree and I didn't have the time, or the inclination.

"Well, after two days of sailing, we stopped at Isla Roatan off the Honduran coast. Just wandered around and did a little shopping there. Then we stopped at Belize the next day... well, we actually anchored offshore and took a launch to Belize City where we caught a bus for a tour of some Mayan ruins near the Guatemalan border. That was kind of the highlight of our trip. Heck, I even tried some Belizian Tic Tacs  while I was there."

"Belizian Tic Tacs? How are they different from American Tic Tacs?"

"Well, first off, they crawl."

"They what?!"

"They crawl... and they live in a big cellulose nest."

"Now you're puttin' me on!"

"Nope... they're termites that feed on a local variety of mint. Pop a few of those and you not only get a little protein, you're breath is minty fresh," I smiled, knowing Bob's aversion to eating anything that didn't come from our local grocery store, not to mention his dislike of bugs... a dislike that bordered on hatred fueled by some primeval fear of things with six or more legs.

"Termites?" he spat incredulously, "termites? Did I hear you correctly?!"

"Yep, but you have to chew them up real well or they'll try to crawl back up your throat," I was delighting in watching Bob's discomfort grow. He even stifled a retch.once or twice, so I cranked it up a little. "Yep... you just poke a hole in that nest with your finger, stick it inside, and the little buggers swarm over your finger. Then you just pop your finger in your mouth, suck them off, and chew real fast. Their heads are a little crunchy, but the bodies are soft. Just like Tic Tacs, but a bit stronger on the mint."

Bob's eyes glazed a bit, and he turned just a little green. "I... um... gotta go..." he retched.

"But wait! I still haven't told you what we had in Mexico..."

Bob began trotting away. Mission accomplished. 

      

Home again!

Home again!

© S, Bradley Stoner

So, it's been silence from the Square Peg guy for a couple of weeks. Not to worry, I didn't croak and Bingo Bob didn't kill me and bury me in the back yard. Nope. We went on a cruise. Drove down to Galveston and hopped aboard the Carnival Freedom, then headed southwest in the Gulf of Mexico bound for Isla Roatan, Honduras. Two full days at sea to reach our first destination. Isla Roatan is a relatively small island off the coast of the Honduras mainland. Not a whole lot to do there but visit the shops and look at the native plants since we didn't book an excursion there. We landed at Mahogany Bay and proceeded to wander about for the day. One good thing, I didn't lose my exercise routine... we walked about five miles a day on the ship plus a couple on Roatan. They had a banana (possibly plantain) tree growing in the shopping plaza, but the fruit wasn't ripe yet, so yes, we had no bananas.Never-the-less, we had a great time there and didn't spend much, looking at the local wares and crafts. Roatan probably won't invite us cheapskates back. 

Once back on the ship, we headed out to sea to arrive off the coast of Belize early the next morning. This was the highlight of our trip. We are hopelessly addicted to exploring ruins... particularly Mayan ruins and Belize has some great sites. Wish we could have visited them all, but given the time the ship was staying, we could only visit one. We opted for the palace at Cahal Pech, just outside of St. Ignacio and just a few miles from the Guatemalan border. Someday we'll make it there to visit Tikal, which is supposed to be spectacular. 

Since the ship had to anchor off Belize City, we had to take a launch to shore. That was fun. It took about a half an hour to get from the Freedom to shore and then we had just about a half an hour before boarding the bus to Cahal Pech. It is one of the oldest Mayan sites known, dating to the Early Middle Preclassic period (around 1200 years BCE) and, although not as spectacular as Chichen Itza in the Yucatan, it was still quite interesting.  Cahal Pech (Yucatec Maya for Place of Ticks) was the seat of power for the elite Maya or royal family and sat atop a high hill overlooking the confluence of the Macal and Mopan rivers, which served as the main trade routes in the area. It was continuously occupied for around 2000 years. This made the palace complex a strategic and highly defensible location.

There was one large temple and a smaller one that had been partially excavated on the east side of the main

plaza (Plaza B on the map). The steps were steep with a large rise (a good foot per step). The slight down-slope on the steps made climbing them a challenge. Unlike a lot of sites, you are still allowed to climb the steps in this complex. 

The site was overgrown with jungle vegetation when discovered in 1968 and the main plaza is still dotted with trees like the gumbo limbo or Tourist Tree, a medicinal tree used to treat rashes and sunburn; mahogany trees; and acacias. According to the guide almost every plant has a medicinal  use. One tree, called the give and take tree has razor sharp poisonous thorns whose only known antidote is its sap. Yep, they had one of those in the plaza as well. They had removed most of the thorns so tourists wouldn't be tempted to test them. Probably a good idea, given some of the people on the tour. Oh, and I must not forget Cacao trees... chocolate was very important to the Maya. One could probably say cocoa was their national drink. If only they had marshmallows.

The palace itself was interesting. Its construction used a unique arch known as a corbeled arch, a somewhat narrow arch pointed at the top. These were used in sleeping chambers as well as passageways. In the sleeping chambers remnants of green stone overlays could still be seen, green being the color of jade and emeralds which were held in high esteem by the Maya and used only in the most elite of family dwelling. 

The palace itself had three levels. The top most held the sleeping chambers for the royal family, with the "king's" being the largest and the principle wife's considerably smaller, but positioned so that only she could choose which other women to visit the king. The second level held the throne with a small plaza  (by comparison to the main plaza) below and paths for visiting dignitaries at a slightly lower level. The third level is reputed to be the location where the king could oversee the workers producing pottery, a main trade item produced at Cahal Pech. 

Access to the palace via the passageways could easily be defended by a very few warriors since all were essentially choke points. The steep sides of the complex, choked with rain forest, also made any assault difficult at best and easily repelled. 

I have a bunch more pictures, but I've probably bored half the audience to death by now. But hey, for you less interested in things ancient, they have snorkeling, swimming with the dolphins, zip lining, and all sorts of other things to do on the stops along the cruise. 

Nights on the ship were a kick. If one is so inclined, there is a casino on board that operates in international waters. I bet once on roulette, doubled my money, and quit, much to the chagrin of the house. My lovely blew a few bucks on that quarter game... the one where you put in quarters in hopes of pushing off more quarters than you put in. She won bunches on the first night, then lost it all the next two. If you play that game, play it on the first night. After that I think they rig the game so quarters don't fall so easily. We preferred going to the comedy club. They had some darn good comedians. General audience shows early, adults only late.

Anyway, we're back now. I haven't figured out why vacation time seems to go so much faster than work time. That sucks. Ah well, I have catching up to do on my writing.

The Square Peg – Bingo Bob’s Beautiful Bombastic Bash

The Square Peg – Bingo Bob’s Beautiful Bombastic Bash

© S. Bradley Stoner

Well, after the Duck Drop a few years back, I didn’t think any homemade celebration could come close to a community sponsored one. Turns out, I was wrong. I underestimated the resolve of a transplanted New Jerseyite (and yes, that’s correct… I Googled it) to outdo the natives of his adopted state. Understand that Texans go big on New Year’s, 4^th of July, Veteran’s Day, Oktoberfest, Halloween, and Christmas. Since we particularly like things that go bang, New Year’s and the 4^th of July figure quite prominently in the bang department. Matter of fact, on the ten point scale of the global bangometer, it registers somewhere around 15. Yep… off the scale.

Fireworks are big business in Texas even though most incorporated cities ban their use inside the city limits, San Antonio included. Killjoys. Not that such bans in the least affect fireworks sales or their use by unauthorized entities (i.e., your average homeowner). I think the attitude is, “they can’t throw us all in jail.” Not that there’s a whole lot of effort employed by the local constabulary. They’re more focused on real issues, like keeping inebriated citizens out of cars and on the road. And we all thank them for that. Nobody wants to spend the New Year dead.

True to form, Bingo Bob set about his preparations for New Year’s early. Daily trips to the Alamo Fireworks stand just north of the city limits were begun after work the entire week after Christmas. Now, we couldn’t be sure, but watching him daily, we estimated the cache of explosive devices to be nearing a ton before the big day came. If somebody had dropped a match in Bob’s garage, they would have made a new era contribution to the space age by putting ol’ Bob on the moon. Luckily for Bob, and the moon, no premature ignition occurred.

As twilight fell on New Year’s eve, you could see the neighbors hauling lawn chairs out of the garage and you could smell the popcorn. Somebody brought out a grill and started cooking hot dogs. You could feel the creeping excitement. I’d like to say the show started with a bang, but it actually started with sparklers and pop bottle rockets. An impatient neighbor down the street hauled out his Roman candles and he and his brother-in-law commenced to shooting flaming balls at one another. Mothers shooed their children inside, but let them back out when the two ran out of fireworks. One of the more “progressive” set of parents allowed their little darlings to pull the tabs on “poppers,” those sad non-explosive excuses for noisemakers. More adventurous families explored the wonders of Snakes, Smoke Bombs, and Black Cats. Exciting stuff.

Bob kept us amused with an array of Fountains, wheels, chasers, cracklers, and such, but was obviously saving the heavy artillery for the final countdown. Most of the older folks and those with very young children had given up and headed inside before Bob started arranging the mortars, repeaters, and sky rockets on his driveway. People started coming back outside… even the ones with little kids. You could hear the buzz of excitement. It was kind of like finding out about a kegger when you were in high school… you knew it wasn’t legal, but you couldn’t stay away.

Somebody turned up a TV really loud as the announcer shouted, “Ten… nine…” About that time, Bob set off the first mortar shell, it’s launch announced by the hollow thwunk, followed by a thunderous blast and a shower of crackling sparks as the star shell burst overhead. By the time the count hit zero, shells were being launched every few seconds. Dense clouds of burnt powder began to drift across the roofs. Sparks dribbled down, causing some nervous Nellies to unlimber their garden hoses, but none actually reached even the highest roof. This went on for several minutes until the repeaters kicked in, spewing shells out rapid fire. Now I’m not going to say it matched the big commercial shows, but it came pretty darn close. Yep, ol’ Bob did a bang up job. Heck, we didn’t even mind helping to clean up the chaff from the street and contribute garbage can space for the spent mortar tubes the next day.

“Well, Bob,” I said, picking up a tube, “that was quite the show.”

Bob sort of stared at me blankly and motioned toward his ear with his free hand. “What?”

For a minute I had forgotten how close he was to all those booms, so I just gave him a thumbs up.

Bob nodded, grinned and yelled, “Just wait ‘til the fourth.”

I’m thinking about taking a trip out west that week. I don’t think I can take that much fun all in one year.