Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The Square Peg - Another oldie - Intrusions on Chicken Tuesday from the slightly demented mind of yours truly.





The Square Peg - Another oldie - Intrusions on Chicken Tuesday from the slightly demented mind of yours truly.
© S. Bradley Stoner


Awright… lissen up.  I’m crashin’ the hen party…. ag’in. 
New an’ improved daffynishons.
Barred rock – that thing ya just pried up from the field you’ve been runnin’ over for the last ten years – also a chickin
Buttercup (noun) – what ya call yer sweetheart – also a chickin
Cornish (noun) – drifted snow on a mountin top – also a chickin
Dorking (verb) – the process of makin’ yer kid a geek – also a chickin
Frizzle (noun) – what happens to yer sweetheart’s hair when its damp out – also a chickin
Gimmizah (verb) – askin’ fer sumthin, as in “gimmizah fried chickin” – also a chickin
Eggshit (noun) – them things you take to get off the four lane
Java (noun) – what any red-blooded American pours in his cup in the mornin’ – also a chickin
Leghorn (noun) – what ya tie below yer knee when yer riding a bicycle to scare the deer away – also a chickin
Ovaltine (noun) – that there multipronged thingy you eat henfruit with
Polish (noun) – what they call Polacks in polite society – also a chickin
Polish (verb) – what yer sweetheart does with the silver – yep, still a chickin
Pullet (verb)– what ya do with a little red wagon… or an old Dodge Power Wagon… or a Yugo… also a chicken
Scratch (noun) – what ya use to pay the fine when you drive too fast off the eggshit... also what a chickin does in the barnyard
Silkie – what yer sweetheart’s nighty feels like – also a chickin
Wattle (noun) – what ducks do… or what people do after they’ve et too much... also a chickin part
Wyandottes (noun) – describes a suspended question “Why….” – also a chickin
Now, I could go on, ya understand, but I fear my Buttercup will gimmizah bum's rush offn the eggshit.
Happy Toosday!