The Square Peg - Planes, Automobiles and Capes
© S. Bradley Stoner
[Pressed for time today, so another short one from the past. Besides, I just bought my senior combination fishing, hunting and frog gigging license and my head is filled with visions of baked filet of flounder, Crawfish Etouffee a la Emeril, frog legs, mushroom stuffed quail, venison marsala, and a nice Merlot to help it go down.]
I've traveled for years. I've traveled for business... for family... and, well, for me. Actually, I'm traveling today... I think... perhaps... possibly... we'll see.
I travel by many modes... airplane (although as you can see, the security delays are creating some interesting traffic patterns, particularly in California - where suddenly everybody wants out - I think their shaky economy is sliding off into the Pacific)... by car (actually I like this the best, but gas prices - GEESH!!!)... and, of course by cape (that's right... you heard it here first!). Traveling by cape, however is a bit pretentious, since not everybody has a knack for it and, well frankly, you have to have a special cape. You can't just cut one out of any old piece of cloth... its a secret nano-cape formula... shhhhhhh! The government doesn't want anyone to know about it... they stole the formula from the Kryptonians.
It's really the best way to travel... requires no gas, is totally non-polluting, and has Al Gore all pissed off because they won't give him one. I guess they figure he can power his own vehicle with all that hot air. Nope... not going to go on a rant... too nice a view from up here... Al looks so tiny and harmless from this altitude, and all those little people who blindly follow like so many little ants... Makes me wonder whatever I did with that box of diazinon... it works great on ants and other tiny little pests...
Oh wait.... my magic rod just wiggled in... it told me there are fresh shrimp that need to be fed to rock fish somewhere to the south and it's tugging me in that direction... Screw PETA... fish are yummy... and fun to catch...
"What? Uh, nothing, sweetie... uh just looking at the fishing report... okay... okay... I'm coming... just let me get my cape...."